Diary Entries of Feferi Peixes
by Rayne-ing
Summary: Since her wriggling day when she turned six sweeps old Feferi kept a brief diary of the sweeps of her life. Not good at summaries! Just something I did when I was bored.


Six sweeps...

Dear diary, today is my wriggling day and it's so exciting! Everyone came today. it was amazing it was the first time we were all together! Kanaya brought snacks from her gardens, Gamzee brought a slime pie, and Eridan and I provided the rest! It was great! We went swimming, played games in the sand and buried Karkat! I'm so glad I have all these friends by my sides. I can't write anymore today! I have to run though, I'm having my very first sleepover at Eridan's hive! I can't believe everyone's staying for the night! I can't help but think, maybe when I become empress we can move close to each other and see each other all the time! I have to go now!

Eight sweeps...

Dear diary, it happened. It really happened. The troll now writing is the new empress! It was a hard battle, and I did get pretty hurt but now I'm the ruler and I'm going to make Alternia an amazing place! All my friends moved close to the palace so I can see them a lot more! Their lusus are here too of course, well, those who are still alive... Enough of that note! Everything is going to be great!

Twelve sweeps...

Dear diary, we all knew it was going to happen, but why so soon? He was hardly able to live a good life. Karkat died today. Nepeta and Terezi were hit hardest. At least Nepeta has Equius, but Terezi... I want to help somehow, somehow cheer her up... I don't know what to do, that's one of us dead. How long will it be till we lose the next?

Sixteen sweeps...

Dear diary, we lost Aradia today. She smiled as she died though, she asked us to just remember her. A promise that would be kept. We would all remember Aradia and love her for the rest of our sweeps just as we will with Karkat. At this rate we know who's next... Gamzee hasn't left Tavros's side, always there for whatever he needs. It's sad, but sweet. I'm scared. It's all crumbling away.

Twenty-four sweeps...

Dear diary, Tavros is gone. Gamzee hasn't stopping crying, but I can't blame him. I know how much they loved each other. Next is... I don't even want to think about it. He's been my matesprit since we were six sweeps, I can't lose him...

Thirty-seven sweeps...

Dear diary... I lost him. My bee is gone. I just can't believe he's gone after all this time. Eridan's been here for me but it isn't helping, it just hurts so much, I can't help but cry. Even worse Gamzee is gone. The day Tavros died he said he couldn't live without him. Kanaya and I have been trying to comfort him, to make him the same happy clown we use to know, but it didn't work. He's at the bottom of the ocean now. He asked to be put there in a letter he left... He wanted to be where his lusus was all those years... I can't take this death. I'm scared.

Forty-nine sweeps...

Dear diary, I never knew Nepeta as well as some of the others but her death has laid a hard burden on us all. Almost half of us are gone and that lively spirit who always managed to bring smiles to our faces was dead. Equius was devastated. All those years of research... I knew he had been trying to create a robot for Nepeta, but he didn't do it in time. He isn't himself, he keeps swearing, saying it's all his fault. It wasn't his fault, it was time's fault... On the other hand Vriska and Terezi won't leave Kanaya. They bring her sweet herbal teas and have even sat down to learn to sew. Vriska sewing, it was something I thought I'd never see. Eridan and I have become closer, no, more than closer, I think I may be ready to move on from Sollux. It has been over ten sweeps after all. I think I'll ask Eridan soon. Maybe he can help me with all this sadness...

One Hundred thirty-six sweeps...

Dear diary, it's been so many sweeps since Nepeta's death. Equius has been working hard trying to create the perfect robot body. He says he doesn't want anyone to go through what he went through. Very kind of him, but maybe that's what death does. Eridan is my matesprit, has been for a long time and as we all started to heal our love started to grow. Then Kanaya died... Terezi is crying most, I can't help but wonder if it's from grief or the fact that she's next. Vriska and Terezi put aside they full hatred and have become very close. Moirails almost, something amazing. Time was kind to their quadrant. I wonder how long it will be... No, I can't think that way...

One Hundred seventy-eight sweeps...

Dear diary, the cackler is gone. Terezi left us a few days ago, and just as requested her grave is next to her favorite place, the court. After long years as part of the legal system as she use to dream and do with her scalemates, she lay a respected member of it. Vriska visits her grave every day, and if you go early enough you can hear her talking to Terezi as if she's still there. Equius still hasn't finished the robot, in fact, he gave up. He just holds Nepeta's coat in his arms and sits alone, crying. The troll who was always the strongest of us was now broken and ready to die. Eridan has been trying to ignore it, and he acts like it doesn't effect him but I know it does, it effects all of us.

Two hundred sixty-three...

Dear diary, Vriska's gone. She was buried next to Terezi. The criminal and the justice side by side in death. I can't help but cry even more. There's three of us left. Equius is just waiting, he doesn't even eat anymore, I have to go to his hive and make him. I wish he wouldn't give up, but I can't change a troll's mind once they're content on it.

Three hundred eighty-four sweeps...

Dear diary, I've been tracking the time, this would have been around the time Gamzee died, I'm honestly glad I don't have to go through that, but that meant... I've started to spend more time with Eridan than usual, scheduling fewer and fewer royal duties just so I could be by his side. He tells me not to worry, says he's strong and he'll be there for me, but I know he's scared too...

Six hundred twelve sweeps...

Dear diary, it seems like so long ago that all of us were together. Reading back in my diary I've started to cry... I remember being so innocent, so happy with all eleven of my friends. Eridan's starting to get weaker I can see it in his eyes. I don't want to lose another matepsprit, I don't know if I could do it. Each night now as we lay together I ask one thing of him. "Please don't let go." Each night he replies the same thing. "I'll never let go Fef, even after I die."

Eight hundred sweeps...

Dear diary, I'm alone. The last of us. I just want to end myself, to go be with them in the dream bubbles, but the kingdom still needs me. I've seen this heiress and she's just like Meenah. I can't let Alternia become the way it was before. For everything we worked for, I will keep fighting on. With their strength and love in my heart. I have to go on for those who I loved and those who I will love. Through all the sweeps to come I must be strong.


End file.
